Sunday, September 18, 2016

Fall and Rise - Part III

Continued

II <<<<<<<<<< II  >
No! Pain is a lonely place, no Nightingale could bear it with me Florence or elsewhere. Black is a beautiful colour. Actually it is all colors. II >

Buddha agreed with me. 

“You should not eat spoilt meat you know. That was a mistake. You could have attended more meetings like late Mr. Abdul Kalam” I told B.
He smiled King’s don’t take to barbs well. He did. Well he renounced it.  He was a king of kings like his famous younger friend from Galilee, that one had the head for Barbs. B took my barbs sportively or did he? 

“You should not have fallen from 18 feet. That my friend was a mistake. Correct your mistakes before you correct others” The Bodhi after all did not kill all the hubris. Guy can’t even take friendly advice. How did he know the exact height I fell?
My Manager Moorthy must have told him. Must ask Mr. Moorthy to remember the need to know principle. Can’t keep telling other stars about our weak moments. Buddha had grown his hair. He looked a bit like Toshiro Mifune and my schoolmate from Sir. M.C.T Mutthaiah Chettiar high school, Ivan Marshal. A Jap and a Chin Combi? My dear Bud had small eyes. The old boy Saakhyamuni had oriental features!!! 
What? So many voices in chorus, expressed disbelief. 
So what? Don’t blame it on me!  Study History. Better still anthropology. I am not from the west to change a Middle Eastern Jewish gentleman into a blue-eyed Caucasian. I liked the legitimate son of Joseph carpenter of Bethlehem as he was. Good man that.  

“Bud if I dream of you they are going to say I have fallen of my rationalist wagon”. 

“Don’t worry I was one myself. Left to me I would still be one. But none left me alone. Bad meat is better than misinterpretation Kamal” Bud said. Did I sense melancholy in his voice? 
“Left to you, It would have been the rationalists? Hmmm. The right has been getting its lucky breaks right from the beginning. God helps in propaganda and argument. That is why Rationalists are marginal in the demographic chart Bud”.
  
Buddha smiled. Kalam turned in his resting place. Peace be upon him. Kalam Sahab was also my friend. He is from my native province.

“I have had a long conversation with Mr. Kalam on a flight. I called him Sir during the flight and Honourable President when he was in office. Though I always wanted to be on first name basis with you Bud. Have you tried Bolex? You should try epidural. None of the suffering you had Bud.

“I knew better meds. Be careful Opioids could be addictive. Sleep now” Seemed like Bud was preparing to leave

“One last thing Buddy. Can I call you that Buddy? 

“Whatever” he said. If he had worn a watch, he would have looked at it.

“Make it snappy Kamal”. I bit my tongue. Concise and susinct are watchwords.

“Buddy, your lighting is all wrong. My subject. So no hubris here”.

“Don’t backlight yourself with that halo. It is such a cliche’. But Buddy, you should know by now. Ask Bolex to do the lighting. Look at mine. I am enlightened by Bolex and co. how do you like it”
Wow! Where do you get that?  Buddy was really curious. I had his attention now.

“From Kodambakkam and Hollywood it is a mix”. I said profoundly. He was impressed.

“I like it” Buddy slowly started to disintegrate.

“Nice CG” I thought. “Thank you Buddy”. “See you later alligator” I thought. He thought the same and became smoky and dark. 


72 comments:

  1. Very nice narrative sir. Keep well soon sir. We are waiting for your action. Hope you have written two or three scripts in your mind during this rest. Take rest and come with bang sir. All the best. We are eagerly waiting for you. Sir, i would like to meet you and see personally. Please consider sir. Thanks.

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  2. Buddha...Kalam..nicely written.What a command over the foreign language loved the narration. My only wish is to meet you once and share my sketches of you..

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  3. As usual great blog! Thank you for letting us in your mind. Can't wait for the next one.. Also, nice way of referring to Jesus. 😊

    Take Care, best wishes.

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  4. Dear sir. Excellent way of presenting your experiences. But it would also be great if you share your entire journey so far sir. There is lots to learn and inspire from your life. Let this blog be not restricted to this particular accident. I have often said to my circle sir, the day you stop making films I will stop watching cinema.

    I also heard you are having type 1diabetes. If yes, please share how you have been to manage that sir.

    My prayers and wishes for you sir.

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  5. Its great to read your narrative sir... U referred so many things and persons. Right from Florence nightingale (mother of modern nursing); barbs and Galilee (wr Jesus and miraculous catch of fish happens) ; i like the way u described ur mention abt saakyamuni as combi of jap and chi... U might hav watched seven samurai (Toshiro mifuni) by Kurosawa...; "rationalist are marginal in demographic chart" excellent; bolex ( motion capture lens. Right? Kollywood+Hollywood ) ; with the use of bolex u created ur BUDDY as CG ... Marvellous imagination sir... U started up this narration with "black is a beautiful colour" and ended up with" smoky and dark" is there a connection???
    See a lot of things from this single page narrative. We LL learn many things from u sir.
    Keep writing like this sir... Wishing u speedy recovery...

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  6. Pain is an illusion..

    Buddha says in the end there is nothing.. Ramana says in the end That is everything..

    Pain is an illusion, there is only knowing of the pain, the sole 'knower' being you. Only the Self exists, everything else is an illusion. You are not being lonely enough to REALISE that you are blissfully lonely already :)..

    Stop bothering about that Halo already Kamalji, become the Halo itself..

    Renounce everything but forget Buddha.. become Everything, read Ramana Maharishi..

    My subject. No hubris here..

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  7. Excellent write up. It sounds like Aalavandhan script. Will be very much appreciated in the later generations.

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  8. Wonderfully narrated Sir! Scary metal 'things' in your legs but a soothing smiling face of Mr. Chandra Hasan makes this picture just pleasant.

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  9. Thalaivaa, an excellent narration before someone begins to wield their machetes out and dissect the content as usual let me applaud you first. From the mood of the blog, Its obvious you're now high on testosterone again and going strong on the recovery track.

    Hope you hit the gymanisum rather quickly.

    Also a splendid narration, more like hallucinations in Heyram but a rather pleasant one, tongue in cheek, satiristic Anbe Sivam kinda writing and chuckling after a long time that went missing for a while at least form the way you're usually rambling incessantly in your interviews.(off late)

    May be the next great script ala Anbe Sivam, Mahanadhi, Heyram or Guna should be on the way soon.

    Dont look back please..[no more retarded attempts in movie making like Uthama Villian, if some thing on the line crops up better lift a brick and kill the bandicoot]

    [Rationalist?, you're certainly not. Show me a person who calls himself a rationalist and I'll show you a liar. For true rationalists uncertainty and infinity are the only paradigms that matters and above all they wouldn't be arsed to identify themselves as one. Some one like yourself (ormugs of your deluded clan) that often remind themselves of seeing the light every fortnight do not fall in the bucket. May be you have some retarded budd(hus)ies who are calling themselves as rationalists scratch each other backs and console yourself but that counts sod all in the grand scheme of things]

    Take Care

    ta!

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    1. Get well soon sir show ur vishwaroopam again

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    2. What's the problem with you? Are you not comfortable being dumb? The man we love and admire as fans is taking a break with his injury and is chilling out with a blog here. Your words show a lot of disrespect and misuse of blogs. You seriously need some help with your humongous ego! What do you expect with this show off writing? A pat on your back? Hope that fits in your grand scheme of things, a**hole#@$

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    3. There is nothing snidey over there brother.

      Thalaivar has had greater falls only to come out as mentally stronger.

      But whenever Kamal slips, all our euphoria drop down and whenever he raises up we all raise along with him..

      Box office failures are always besides the point, when a hardcore fan (like me) allege Kamal falls, its not only a drop in in standard of his latest movies alone but it starts from his dressing sense, the the choice of his chothes, hairstyle , heroine, co stars, or overall a movie like Uthama Villain or may be a drop form 18 feet. Fall is a fall. Off late, its slowly crumbling across many points of the compass, that should not happen...its worrying...and his words ain't helping either.

      Apart from his yet another self patronising blurb about rationalism, this blog provides a wonderful sense of (re) assurance.

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    4. I do not completely disagree with you but don't throw your criticism like a ton of bricks, it is demoralizing in the least. He is not a radio to play music of different genres, he is a human being n you have never been in his shoes. Cinema is team work and requires quality work from different set of people to make it successful. If you are keen then why don't u give a 'sure to succeed' script and offer to produce it? Otherwise it is best to express your comments subtly.

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    5. The blogs has been titled Fall and Rise so its all about dissecting the falls first not glorifying them. Yes cinema is a team work any one can muck it up, yes but there must be some ally of Kamal that should be held accountable for onboarding the crew or selecting the story?

      In all Kamal's films right from late 70's there has been an intriguing thought put behind movie titles ala Kuruthipunal, Sathya, SKV, Chanakyan, Avvai Shanmugi, Mahanadhi, Anbe Sivam, VV to Dasavatharam. But off late with titles like Manmadhan Anbu, Amma Appa Vilaiyaattu(sigh!) or the oxymoronic Utham Villian only chords with Shakeela movie titles and dubbed Malayalam porn movies of the early 80's. Regardless of the underlying metaphor even hardcore fans would refrain from uttering these titles loud even in their homes let alone the title triggering an interest among masses. But Thalaivar on his part announces these titles in the media brimming with Konefidence. So some ally of Kamal is misguiding him and convincing him that he's doing something clever if he resorts to these titles.

      No fan is really arsed about Kamal's personal faith or lifestyle or his background (this blog when he has fired a blopper reminding himself as a rationlist for the zillionth time). His concept of ratonalism irrespective being extremely thick or skewed or may be not has only frustrated fans and too scary to gauge the impact it would have on the saffron brigade running the kingdom of Indraprasta. So the same ally of Kamal is constantly reminding he's a rationist and doing something xtremely brilliant if he repeats it constantly before the media.

      Kamal for his part has worked his way very hard so that for his profession he has can easily take six months off form the trade, study something new or pratice a new skill outside of movie making etc. Brillancy is a relative concept would be acknowledged in competitions, and Kamals competition is only movie making not in any other field with the intelligence only get appraised in the two hour and half product he offers once or twice in a year. May be be some one is constantly misguiding him that he'd be regarded as an expert in religions, medicine, strength of materials to space science overnight if he laps up rudimentary theories presented in two bit washed out literatures, that aint worth a penny never would earn anybody a peanut either.

      The dresssing sense and colours exhibited in Kurudipunal, Ullasa Paravaigal or Kadhal Parisu, PT were fantastic and stylish certainly not the case anymore for nearly a decade. . Apparels went hand in glove from the daddy bods of MMKR, Nayakan or the tummy of Indhiran Chandiran. May be the same person these days is also constantly reminding Kamal that his misfit designer wears are all adorable whenever he looks in to a mirror or Kamal feels the factor is too trival and chooses to ignore it.

      Some one is constantly reminding Kamal, if resorts to the climax of EkTuJeKeliye or Arangetram that depicts heroine suffering before she dies or fades away, can add a great emotional quotient and make the movie a sure blockbuster, yet Virumaandi left the audience with a very bad taste in the mouth, and crashed prematurely in the BO than expected sad outcome for a movie infact with a better techinical content than Devar Magan.

      The same someone might've advised Kamal, to conduct that ill fated media confession before Vishwaroopams release, advised him to attempt an miserable experiment like Uthama Villain, should have also recommended Kamal to allow those four epic (very essential songs) for the AMBITIOUS "a wednesday" remake with the legendary maria callas herself appearing and rendering the opening song in the trailer; for sure someone is firing bricks from 18 feet thrown yet he considers them as flowers thrown from 5 feet. With the person constantly haranguing and constantly taking him for a ride I fear Kamal is slowly losing his zeal for making great movies. I wish thalaivar launches a witch hunt and soon puts the person to place.

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  10. True, pain can not be shared, even if one is surrounded by loving ones. It's one's own , may be the only 'thing' one owns. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, day after night! Wonder what Buddha found that day under the Bodhi tree, his mind captured by your Bolex! Or is it beyond the mind?
    I believe self enquiry can only start in the rationalist mind, it is expressed as science, art, religion etc. It can not be confined to the walls of religions. It is perhaps a search for fulfillment, an abstract and subjective idea which exists in every mind and not yet been branded as belonging to a particular religion, caste or creed.
    Having said that we love the rebellious rationalist in you :-) hope the pins and screws come off soon and your legs are free again to set out to new ventures!

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  11. Very Superb Written, all your writings are great, I need to meet you. I live in Delhi.. either when i visit Chennai or in Delhi.. Please give me 2 minutes of your precious time, and hope you come back with a big bang

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  12. Your standard of thinking and writing is too high like some of your movies.Critics will say anything but you are master of your own.Come back vibrantly.

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  13. Dear sir. Excellent way of presenting your experiences. But it would also be great if you share your entire journey so far sir. There is lots to learn and inspire from your life. Let this blog be not restricted to this particular accident. I have often said to my circle sir, the day you stop making films I will stop watching cinema.

    I also heard you are having type 1diabetes. If yes, please share how you have been to manage that sir.

    My prayers and wishes for you sir.

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  14. Dear Chevalier Kamal,
    Enjoying every word of your writeup. Fall and rise, but you are here to stay forever in our mind n soul!
    Am not here to wish u great success as, u have already exceeded the scale! As an ardent fan from my childhood, wishing you to have great health n waiting to c u soon on screen. My prayers r with u.

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  15. Awesome write up! Middle eastern jew to blue eyed Caucasian... Cracked me up 😊 take care sir!

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  16. Dear Chevalier Brother,

    Nice narration like free flow script.

    Having a very long craving to meet you.

    Is there any possibility to meet you in person?

    Kindly let me know....

    My Heart full prayer for you to get well soon.

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  17. Get well soon Sir.
    Gods always with you.

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  18. I didn't understand what you are trying to say by this post in my first attempt. Of course, I did not read it fully as I was helping my son for his quarterly exam. (I tried to do two things simultaneously, which I am not capable off). Thank you for narrating your experiences through this blog. Keep writing sir.

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  19. I am dead fan of you since i was on my 16'n .now i am 46. you cant be replaced by any body in Indian cinema...Hats off to you boss

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  20. Dear Sir,

    Superb narration, even the best of best cannot narrate / write the way you do.

    Get well soon Sir,we all pray for your quick recovery.

    GG(Gowri & Gowri)

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  21. Dear Sir,

    Superb narration, even the best of best cannot narrate / write the way you do.

    Get well soon Sir,we all pray for your quick recovery.

    GG(Gowri & Gowri)

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  22. Dear Sir,

    Superb narration, even the best of best cannot narrate the way you do.

    Get well soon sir, we all praying for your speedy recovery.

    GG(Gowri&Gowri)

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  23. Hi, I am a Professor of Physics, presently working as a visiting scientist in US. It seems you wanted to defy the law of gravity and in the process got hurt (it is the weakest known force, which can actually cause the strongest possible damage). I want to involve with your films giving some scientific inputs - as what sujatha did. if you are interested do write to me at psankaran@uidaho.edu

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  24. Great... Healthy mind and healthy humour. May it continue and keep strong and healthy.

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  25. I should read this entry more times. Several things to be known. Hats off. Sabash Naidu.

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  26. Dear Kamal
    Take care, awaiting for you on screen.

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  27. Dear Kamal
    Take care, awaiting for you on screen.

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  28. What a writeup😇😇.Kadavul iruntha nalla erukum,ur medication is conjuring up imaginary God,coping mechanism😄. or is it imaginary🤔🤔😥.One can never tell. Do God exist or no age old question,but if it helps as a coping mechanism why deny it.Kalathal seitha uthavi siritheninum gnalathil Mala perithu😃😃so embrace it.

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  29. Haha....can I call you Buddy? That was class... This creativity is what we like and enjoy the most.....

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  30. Haha....can I call you Buddy? That was class... This creativity is what we like and enjoy the most.....

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  31. U r great sir #my moto wrk with u it's my #dream .I have different story with screen play that will execute with u :)

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  32. Andavare even in pain you write what great man you are falling from 18 feet unbelievable is that you do at pamal k. Sambantham. Buddha is good leader and Kalam great man met once as scientist. At my school in science fair. Well your critic was nice and flow of your pain through scripting amazing. I think new subject is narrated to us before the film draws its power. Though I am just one of the fans to you. I love to call you andavare. I have found an Endangered species of cinema. I don't want to be extinct so please be back with us. My parents are my God. On that scheme I found one more on there side. Whatever you name a film it's always pleasant surprise to me.
    Ever loving
    RAJA

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  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  34. As someone who is a lot younger than your daughters, I have only seen the craze, love and reverence that people have for you. Reading this blog makes me know why though. Loved the first part of your Fall and Rise which is what brought me here to this page. A glimpse of your scripting genius... Even the disaster of your Fall has a silver lining - this blog. A way for us People to reach out to you. Get well soon SIR. That title is truly earn from us PEOPLE. And do keep that humor intact irrespective of all the antennas on your leg.

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  35. As someone who is a lot younger than your daughters, I have only seen the craze, love and reverence that people have for you. Reading this blog makes me know why though. Loved the first part of your Fall and Rise which is what brought me here to this page. A glimpse of your scripting genius... Even the disaster of your Fall has a silver lining - this blog. A way for us People to reach out to you. Get well soon SIR. That title is truly earned from us PEOPLE. And do keep that humor intact irrespective of all the antennas juttin out of your leg.

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  36. As someone who is a lot younger than your daughters, I have only seen the craze, love and reverence that people have for you. Reading this blog makes me know why though. Loved the first part of your Fall and Rise which is what brought me here to this page. A glimpse of your scripting genius... Even the disaster of your Fall has a silver lining - this blog. A way for us People to reach out to you. Get well soon SIR. That title is truly earned from us PEOPLE. And do keep that humor intact irrespective of all the antennas juttin out of your leg.

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  37. A little nonsense now & then is cherished by the wisest man- said another wise man. That pretty much surmises this requiem for a dream sort of narration. Budha, bud or buddy is u speaking, conversing & taunting urself. This happens to all people who have evolved themselves into fighters- the kind that questions & standup against everything they r not comfortable with. I call them 'rudrashiva-people with inner anger'. In normal times, These questions will be rised by our inner anger in subconscious state & that inturn creates a rebellious streak when u r awake. Normally, we dont even remember this inner conversation once it's result s expressed before the outside world. This time the effect of dope..i.e delirium induced by medicines has slowed down the process & hence we got a very good original writing. Here r certain halmarks-
    1. It started with u giving advise to ur 'buddy' on spoilt meat overtly refereing to his rumored death. Then came the retort that u shouldnt hav fallen frm 18 ft. The conversation is cleverly kept a simple man to man discussion accusing each other of their faults. Probably, the choice of budha s because he is the most secular religious preacher..perhaps.
    2. Then comes the referance to jesus and a inert sarcastic statement denouncing constantine of changing king of galilee's physical features. Kamal hassan & barbs r inseparable!😅
    3. Discussion on rationalism is profound. U might have faced lot of opposition from the otherside. I think no 1 at least from our generation cares for these things anymore.
    4. Then suddenly the director in u woke up. All sorts of faces were conjured up & trust me wen u have film direction keeda, u give framing advise to anybody photogenic. Hence the bolex & the halo effect. 😃
    Finally by refering to alligator( it is a budhist jataka story), u had reaffirmed the fact- it is ones karma that determines ones fate.
    To conclude, there r many finer details in this original piece & correct me if i am wrong. I will be happy to seek knowledge from such a fine writer.

    Regards,
    Pradeep

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  38. Sir , if there is a God ( I believe there is ) then you're the one for Tamil cinema. Get well soon.

    An ardent fan with loads of love and immense respect

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  39. Sir , if there is a God ( I believe there is ) then you're the one for Tamil cinema. Get well soon.

    An ardent fan with loads of love and immense respect

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  40. Are you not well, ? Kamalji take care . Exercise is the best remedy for any illness.
    Reduce your weight. I have great appreciation for your acting skills, nayagan is the top most. I am 76 years old so forgot the names of your movies but remember the awesome acting. Ok get well soon. Take it easy not to strain Savithri Gopalan

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  41. Why so much hero worship and sycophancy by Tamil rasigas ? Savithri Gopalan

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  42. Thanks for writing the blog. Hope you are healing in a smooth way. Very much concerned about your healing process. Please do concentrate on the emotional aspect of healing too. Sending you tons of healing energy and love. Please update about your healing.Take care. Be gentle with yourself.

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  43. Thanks for writing the blog. Hope you are healing in a smooth way. Very much concerned about your healing process. Please do concentrate on the emotional aspect of healing too. Sending you tons of healing energy and love. Please update about your healing.Take care. Be gentle with yourself.

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  44. Dear Mr Kamal ,
    Nice to follow you through your blog. Please write often also.
    Once we met briefly in the former Land Mark Bookstore in NH Road. Now I take the liberty of requesting you to launch and write in a bilingual magazine - in Tamil & English- may be titled as ‘Indian ‘.
    Indian youth need your inner heart to be opened out for the sake of society and for your own fire in your belly – which could not be cooled through Films alone.
    May be in the long run you can start a political outfit -may be named as ‘Indian ‘again.
    The inner Kamal might be knocking already on this.
    Crisis creates leaders. Leaders’ inner searches only bring out the best.
    I am able to feel your inner fire which you & you only can quench.
    Let your experiments with truth carry the magic – the true Indian in you !!
    With best Greetings.
    Ramalingam K S
    DFM & Innovation Consultant
    Chennai -90
    Mobile : 97899 65421
    erramalingam.ks@gmail.com


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  45. Dear Kamal Sir, We love your work in each movie be it a hit or flop movie..u r a apoorva piravvi... u live for the audience of urs always... which actor or human being would sit n write his happenings in the hospital when undergoing so much pain.. I'm sure ur loaded with so much work to do but still u found time to write n make people clear abt ur health.. ur the man the best man to my eyes.. ur daughters are blessed to have a dad like u. Relationships may part away from u but we audiences won't leave u alone... love u sir.. life time moment is to meet u....

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  46. Dear Sir I have lot of my personal worries. But since yesterday I am thinking of you a lot after G announce the seperation. Care you

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  47. Let all your pain goes and ready for the next project.

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  48. Dear Sir I have lot of my personal worries. But since yesterday I am thinking of you a lot after G announce the seperation. Care you

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  49. Last time I saw some great toys with Aluminium Scaffolding machine. It was automatically do work great..

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  50. Kamal you are a master without any doubt. what I like is the detailing and your observance as a creative person. It was visible to see a film maker in explaining each and every minute thing from falling from a 20 feet moving through a ambulance to Apollo Hospital. Hope you are well now. I recently saw your video IndiaToday on SabhashNaidu, i think.. in youtube and happy about you and your upcoming film. Maybe I can boast of someone who has the record of watching all your movies in the first in Trivandrum.

    PS: I think even Budha's followers are now-a-days hypocritical. Budha's followers keep his ideology on books and libraries and follow himsai in platter boasting of themselves most deadly carnivores in the planet. Also I wonder why Ahimsa Budha's followers practice the maximum martial arts on earth. Also the movies of the gory films of B's followers in Jap, chin flash my mind. Like our Quintin Tarantino's. Plus the self proclaimed rationalist have the greatest record in democracy in terms of committing corruption Thanks to 2G and 3G internet service in knowing more about these news.so the demographic chart which you have talked about it is absolute. Note that a fundamentally radical religious mind = insular atheist cum rationalist who is intolerant to others views. (ofcourse you are Good Pal ) I was talking about some peers in Politics and certain Left intellectuals.

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  51. நமக் கென சுய மரியாதையும் சுய மொழி யும் இருக்கையில் நமக் கெதற்க்கு,? அந்நியன் தயவில் ஓர் மொழி.

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  52. அற மிரு ப்போர் உ(ண்)ம்மை கண்டு ஐ யப்பட அவசிய மில்லை. அது இல்லா தோர் குறித்து கவலைப் பட நம்மிடம் ஏது மில்லை.

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  53. ***شرکت نوين گيت***

    با سالها سابقه در طراحي ،اجرا و خدمات سيستمهاي درب اتوماتيک و راهبند
    فروش،نصب و راه اندازي و خدمات انواع درب اتوماتيک (درب سکشنال - کرکره اتوماتيک - کرکره پنجره - درب ريلي اتوماتيک - جک پارکينگي - کرکره شفاف - رول گيتر - انواع راهبند و درب اتوماتيک شيشه اي... )
    خدمات 24 ساعته و شبانه روزي حتي در تعطيلات رسمي
    مشاوره رايگان در تمامي مراحل

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  54. Collaborate with netflix on Viswaroopam 2 so that It would be possible to release it atleast after a month from official theater release. Netflix is the go to place for almost all of the people living outside india and its slowly making its way to india as well. I really wish you succeed with the movie. And I need you steady on the legs untill I am a director myself. Thank you :)

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  55. The suicide of Anitha, who spearheaded the fight against the National Eligibility and Entrance Test (NEET) exam, has sent shock waves across Tamil Nadu. Superstars such as Rajinikanth and Kamal Haasan have expressed grief over the incident.

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